I do not bare the shame of online dating; historically there aren’t many places for gay men of color to congregate safely. I am also not one of those men that whine and complain about the type of men that are online; I just talk to the ones that intrigue me and make fun of the ones that do not. Yes, I, too, can be juvenile. I have no qualms regarding the sexual being I am, on the right day, you hit me up and I may oblige you. On the wrong day, well it is just the wrong day. However, regardless of the day, please be creative not clinical. Please be stimulating; do not saunter with your request.
With all that said, it does baffle me why men who prefer to top ask this question: When is the last time you bottomed?
The fuck I look like?
September 8th, 2014, I was asked this question by someone online. Blessings rain down upon that this will be the last time. I scolded him like I was his 7th grade teacher and he gave me some lame excuse that his dog ate his homework: inappropriate.
His reply (verbatim), “Y be ashamed to answer. It’s prob a scale factor to determine frequency and/or elasticity in that area.”
I had to school the young 27 year old. It’s not that I’m ashamed. You could ask me how much money I have in my bank account and I’m not going to answer that either. Some things are not to be shared with strangers, when the last time I had sex is one of them. Asking me my status would be appropriate. Me asking him when is the last time he prematurely ejaculated leaving a lover unsatisfied would fall under that inappropriate category.
Although he gave me an adequate answer, I would be remiss in not expressing that I feel as though the question has something to do with that all inflatable and perilous male ego. When men stick their penis inside of holes they feel some since of conquest; it goes back to Rome, it goes back to the Congo, it goes back to Greece, and it goes back to warfare on the African continent in 2013, yes that recent. Sexual intercourse is often the spoils of war.
Have you ever had a dude get up behind you, while you’re on all fours, ass inclined in the air with a downward arch in your lower back? (If you haven’t try it). If he’s getting it, and I mean getting it good, to where you try to crawl away (just a little bit). If he’s a real nigga in the bed, he’ll say “whose is it?” Why: because, the penetrating male genuinely feels ownership (however fleeting) in his sexual conquest.
And most men, outside of trains and sexual group activity, want to conquer something they feel hasn’t been too recently conquered. That reasoning does harken back to the gentleman’s answer of frequency and elasticity.
However, my biggest problem: it was a turn off. I dropped the mic and walked away. On the other hand, this 6’1’’ brown skin, caesar hair cut wearing mofo, with a bottom pink lip anyone would be jealous of asked me in only his second message, “You want to get nasty with a nigga?”